Well its the second day of may and it already feels like August. Treated myself to a lovely new bikini yesterday so as the weather was so nice decided to wear it and sun myself in the garden.

Went swimming with some people from work on monday. That was an adventure, apparently its the worst place for catching verrucas and stuff in stockport. Thanks for telling me, they had all come pre-warned with there flip flops and theres me left barefooted and exposed.

Had a works night out at the weekend and spent the entire time with moaning men who didn't wnat to do what we women wanted. Namely go to the gay villiage. We went never the less, us women always win. We got there and in the space of 10 minutes to fights broke out. The gay men where calling the gay women names. Needless to say they didn't like and and it was handbags at dawn so to speak, they got up on chairs and stuff and had their friends hold them back, scary stuff.

I went to see Blood Brothers at the Palace in Manchester last week. Linda Nolan was the star and she was amazing. The whole thing was great and the audience felt like they were there with them when cast members were firing guns from the audience. My mum the big softy ended up crying at the end, i have to admit it was a bit soppy. They got a standing ovation, which I think they had expected as they had started to do oncurrs before we stood up.

Hope this glorious weather stays , no one will be going abroad if the weather keeps on going like this

THE ADVENTURES OF PMT WOMAN

Well who wants to know whats going on in the world of me. Well not alot actually, work is pretty pants as my project isn't showing anything and my boss is working fewer and fewer hours. So don't have much to do during the day apart from moan with my colleague who is desperate to dig her way out of the hole that we work in. Got into a heated debate at work with a woman who believed I shouldn't have an opinion as I don't have kids, I wasn't best pleased as apparently she believes that it is okay to have a seven person car when you have two kids cos you need the space. I may not have kids but I am certainly allowed an opinion based on the fact that my parents had 2 kids and managed very well with a 4 seater ford. There was plenty of room for me and my brother to lie on the back seat and fall asleep on car journeys. I walked out of the room as I didn't want to say something I would regret as she isn't the sharpest tool in the box and undoubtedly wouldn't understand what I was saying anyway. Meeeewwwo!!!

On a nicer and unbitchy note had a fabulous meal on Saturday night and ate myself silly gorging on the best Chinese ever. Then fell asleep watching the crappiest film ever that should have definitely been nominated for a raspberry award (yes they do actually exist I kid you not). They are also affectionately known as the "razzies" if anyone wants to have a peek.

I am so sad I have just watched the latest episode of greys anatomy and like a hormonal wreck cried the majority of the way through it. I feel such a wuss . Went to the gym tonight and feel liberated for it , nearly had a spat with some woman on Friday ( god I sound like a right one) over a treadmill. If you are interested here's how it went, she was in a group of 3 and they each wanted to do some training at the same time. However in the bit where I go there are only 5 treadmills and as you can imagine they were all taken. They weren't very happy. Two became vacant but of course they wanted a third so the one with out a treadmill started working out on another piece of equipment. During this time I am going at a leisurely pace and had about 10 minutes of my exercise to go. They kept looking at my timer and shouting at the top of their voices "someone will be off in a minute, Fiona" Whilst Fiona is completely oblivious and is doing the ultimate sin by working on her own. They must have realised after a good few minutes that I wasn't budging cos I kept going, in fact if I must admit it was spurring me on to do more. So they told Fiona they were going to start without her cos no one was moving (boo hoo). How long do you recon they did? 15 minutes? no 10 minutes? no. 5 minutes they did, how can you complain for 5 minutes, you can't even break a sweat in that time. Needless to say I give them the biggest dirtiest imaginable as I wiped the sweat from my brow and walked shaky legs of the treadmill. If anyone can understand what I was talking about there please put answers on a postcard to:-

Does this face look bothered?
Couldn't care less road
Rottondom
England

Thanks for you cooperation

(please ignore everything you have read here it does not reflect on the ideas and experiences of the blogger and is just the random bleetings of a hormonally challenged person)

Don't you just love PMT.

I have been tagged. I believe as an excuse to get me to blog again. I hadn't realised it was the 18th of December since I was last on. Wow hasn't the time flown. Well here goes with the 5 less than obvious things about me.

1. I am a not so secret online game addict. I am totally incapable of spending one day without sneaking a peek on one of the many websites I frequent. I am very upset as the nasty people at work have obviously been watching my secret addiction and have blocked my favourite websites. Horrible people. I am now attending the OGAA (online gaming addicts anonymous). I now have to follow the 12 steps. Step number 1 realise you have a problem. So thank you nasty webmaster for making me confront my problem and making me actually work during the day.

2. I am an incredible gossip. I have a fault where if I am told something I am incapable of forgetting that juicy detail until I have found someone to tell it to. Until that point I am a nervous wreck who at a completely inopportune moment will release the details without a thought. This fault has got me in trouble far too many times and I am now trying to learn to keep my big mouth shut. Although many would argue not trying hard enough.

3. I am probably the most profoundly talented pianist in England. I proudly showed off my incredible talent on new years day. The confidence was definitely improved immensely by the bottle of wine drank before commencing my show. Needless to say I wasn't has great as I remember and was laughed at and jeered.

4. I am a sucker for anything cute and pretty. How come the cutest thing about every species are the young? I can spend hours looking at cute little animals and generally get a quick fix from cuteoverload.

5. I love holidays. I can spend full days at work looking at different places and where to stay. Harry probably knows this anyway as I am constantly pecking his head about going away. The most recent holiday inspiration is the Maldives and I have given my orders that we need to go in the next 10 years otherwise it will be underwater after that.

Well that is the end of my questions. I am unable to tag anyone as I don't read anyone blog apart from the peoples who have been tagged previous to me. So I am copping out.

Well I've not had the greatest weekend, my little rabbit who was a elderly 8yrs (old in rabbit terms) passed away. She died on the Friday which as fate would have it was the same day my grandma died last year. Lets just say there were a few tears. She was buried next to her little friend Flopsy who died about 2 years ago and will sadly be missed. Although my dad can now have whatever plant he wishes in the garden. Last year he must have planted over a hundred plants and was only left with Lobeilla. Which she obviously didn't like.

Seven days and counting until Xmas and the hording of food has already started. We went into the local tescos on Saturday and although there was still over a week to go people where already starting to pile stuff in the trolleys. It amazes me how because the shops are closed one day everybody fears that the world will end and everyone will have to live off the food stores they have. I suppose this is what 24 hour everything will do to you. You become reliant on it and presumably some people come out in cold sweats if there are unable to walk under the artificial lights and hear the familiar bleep of the check out.

Have to work the dreaded second to last day for christmas shopping, oh the joy I shall have. I rather doubt that we will be at all busy as everyone who was stupid enough to leave it until the last minute will be rushing round places like the trafford centre buying the good old favourite perfume. Hopefully for certain people there will be a much wanted item still left on the shelves of the alcohol section, sparkling like a shining beacon, shimmering green and begging that person to buy it. And no I don't mean the new special edition Doodley's, perhaps this special treasure may be found on the shelf below he he.

I have become obsessed with the Film Happy Feet, I have found a wall paper on the bbc website of a emperor penguin baby and have set it as my wallpaper. I know it is a kids film and it went off at a bit of a tangent at the end but the characters and the music was really good. It is clever that all the song are well known human ones.

What is it about Christmas that encourages splurging out? You spend loads and think that you have finished and then you spot something else and you feel compelled to buy it because it would be a perfect gift for someone special and you just have to get it as it will make their Christmas. I have to say that I have been very good so far and have pretty much finished and have wrapped up everything I have bought. Yes I am quite aware that it is still November but can anyone actually say they enjoy roaming round the shops mid December in the bustling crowds, everyone looking for what you are looking for. There is never anywhere to park and there is always huge queues at the tills and flustered staff serving you who are counting down the minutes and seconds until they can remove the fixed smile from their faces and go home to a nice chilled glass of wine and a bubbly bath. I can say that with complete conviction as I happen to be one of the afor mentioned staff.

I have managed to escape this hell by buying of the amazing invention the Internet. Where else can you get someone else to trawl the shop for you, package it and send it to you and all you do is provide them with the money and you can sit there in the comfort of your home and listen with joy to the tales of peoples weekends spent traipsing round shops looking for the same items you have bought, and you smile with more pleasure as you realise you got it for cheaper. Do you reveal your little secret and say "How much?, I got it for this amount and didn't have to queue for 3 hours and go to 4 different stores" or do you keep it to yourself as you realise that it doesn't matter anyway as that item you bought will be less than half price anyway on boxing day. If only the Christmas sales came before Christmas, but that would be a bit of a scrooge thing to do. However I do find it slightly irritating that the shops put the prices up on items just round this time just to squeeze the last bit of profit from each and every item. I kid you not that the price of a sprout goes up by 75p a pound.

Why am I being such a Bah Humbug, I love this time of year and I become the biggest snoop there is. I love finding out what everyone is buying each other. I also rather enjoy the crisp icy mornings snuggling down into your scarf watching your breath rise in swirls. This probably completely contradicts my last post but I suppose as the season draws in it grows on you and everything smells so fresh after snow or ice. The winter can never beat the summer though with its warmth and glorious happiness. I think that's why the end of October and beginning of November are always the times when people moan about the weather as it doesn't know what it should do so it rains all the time.

How time flies, my last post was the 1st and now its nearly December. Didn't realise it was that long.

Spent about 3 hours today washing and waxing my car, my girl racer tendencies coming out as we have to have our cars all spic and span. I have to say that I am slightly lying there as I am not a racer and don't really know anything about cars but I do have furry dice so I am well on my way into the club.

Have been oohing and ahhing over my rabbit as she is getting older and her legs are getting a bit stiff so she can no longer jump and hop about like she used to and it is really bad when you have to laugh when you see her trying to jump up a step about 10cm high and ends up trying to get foot holds to clamber her way up. It just seems to have come on all at once, I can remember when she was about 6 months old and bombed it about the garden and was a bugger to try and catch. Its getting bad, I am only 21 and am reminiscing about the old days.

The dark nights are drawing in and it getting to the point where you don't actually see day light. You travel to work in the dark and travel home in the dark, and you spend all day in artificial light as it not enough natural daylight not to have them on. It really is a deathly sad time of year with everything either dying or hibernating so nature goes to sleep waiting for spring to arrive again. It is not a surprise that people get Seasonal Affected Disorder.

How come when you have work done you feel a stranger in your own home. All these people walking about all the time they can be any where at any time and you have to ask permission to go into your own room. It is so weird that we let these people into our homes only for it to be taken over.

Home looks like a building site with floor boards up every where, wallpaper being ripped off and dirt and grime in every inch. Banging can be heard from every orifice of the house and all you get from these workmen types is "big job this missus". One tried to explain the meaning of truncated cables to me this morning only to have a completely no plus face look back at him. He probably guess what was going through my mind. If I knew what truncated cabling was do you honestly think I would be paying you the exorbitant price that I am, I would more than likely be doing it myself.

You try to sit in a tranquil place in the house with the puzzler and a broadband connection only to be surrounded and forced to abandon your refuse. I think its dinner time as all is quiet once again I expect in an hour or so hell will once again break lose.